batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's the barista slut.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
