Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
