just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
