Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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