i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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