it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
