sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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