everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize