I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
