Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
