I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
