if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
