You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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