So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize