pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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