Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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