And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize