The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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