the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
