whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
