Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Farmville is her only friend.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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