did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Two words: blizzard sex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
