It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
my poor anus
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
