This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
