ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
