Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
