Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
