My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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