That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
