FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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