Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
