help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
