do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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