you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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