In the future we'll all be gay
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
