I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize