Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you would pick up someone in the library
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize