Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
