Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
