May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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