you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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