maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
