Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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