people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
