It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
