I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
