im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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