Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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