How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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