If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
