my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she peed on how many people?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
