Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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