please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize