The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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