omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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