i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
