I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
