i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
