did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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